Watching the Chatter Clears Clutter By Stephanie Bennett Vogt

Have you ever stopped whatever you were doing to simply observe your thoughts? Yes, to do nothing else but watch the nonstop activity of the mind–without doing anything to fix or change what’s going on in there?

If you took that experience and multiplied it by 24 hours and then again by 14 days, that basically describes two weeks I spent on the island of Patmos in Greece this past May. For practiced meditators like my husband, it’s called a meditation retreat. Depending on the day you ask me, a relative newbie to these closed-eye marathons, it’s called being-with-a-mind-that-won’t-shut-up… or, just plain hell.

This is not your typical ascetic experience where you sit in a lotus position for hours on end. This retreat is the deluxe version held at a beautiful hotel with sweeping views of the Aegean. Every day is a feast of fabulous 70-degree weather, gourmet vegetarian dinners, fun-loving participants, inspiring teachers, soul-feeding lessons in human consciousness. Two whole weeks where I am given permission (instructed, actually) to do absolutely nothing…and take nothing seriously.

Heaven, you might say, except for the fact that I feel completely consumed by the orgy of thinking that is taking place in my mind. Watching the gluttony of self-importance churning in my head is exhausting, even nauseating sometimes. And my whole body hurts. The fact that I happen to be on one of the most beautiful places on the planet is lost on me.

So why do something in paradise that is so not pleasing? I ask myself this question countless times, while I thrash about like an addict in rehab, ready to bolt at any minute. The answer: “Week two.”

Disarming the monkey mind (ego) and unwinding from a lifetime of spinning–”very important”–thought-bulletins like; “I need a cup of coffee…Caffeine is bad…My back hurts… I hate this…I love this… I signed up for this?! …Thirteen-and-a-half days to go… Everyone is ‘getting this’ but me…My back hurts … ” takes time.

It’s not the thoughts themselves, I discover, but the constant chewing (identifying, personalizing, feeding, attaching to) them that is so tiring. When I stop chewing, the relief is instantaneous. Like the relief you feel in your mouth when you finally remember to spit out the tasteless wad of gum.

Though the mind has no concept of this (and never will)–and employs a spectacular array of stealth tactics to charm us back into our old habits–the alternative to a “grasping” way of life is pretty darn sweet. It’s the magic that happens when we choose ease. Or take nothing personally. Or surrender to that deep silent space within us that simply knows.

By the end of my second week of mindful non-doing, something begins to poke through the noise and clutter of my mind. Nothing fancy or earth shattering, really. No fireworks or big revelations.

What comes into focus is me. Like those three-dimensional puzzles where the image pops in fully-formed when you soften your gaze: It’s the “me” that has been there all along. The me who hangs out in that timeless space where everything feels sparkly, uncomplicated, and clear.

Sponsored by: http://www.Indiainfotech.co.in

Book Mar This

Successful Resolutions By Carrie Fleharty

The ultimate success formula begins with clarity. Now that the New Year is upon us, many of us have made resolutions or have written down what they want to attract for the year. In other words you have determined what you want and desire. The question is why do you want that? What purpose does it serve? Once that is foreknown you will need to devise an action plan to develop strategies to obtain or accomplish your goals.

Your goals are just those very things you want and desire. We often flounder right here at this specific time and place. We forget to set up and develop our action plans. Those action plans are the make or break of a successful endeavor; whether it’s a New Year’s resolution or something you want to accomplish.

I firmly believe that the reason so many people who break their resolutions is because they left out the how to’s or the action steps. For example if you want to lose weight, you decide that going to the gym would be a good plan. This goes well, until you decide to stop going. You forgot to write down the steps that need to be taken in order for you to show up at the gym three-four times a week. By not setting those action plans, you have set yourself up for failure.

Here’s the way to help you become more successful in all of your endeavors:

1.     Look at your resolutions, your desires, or your goals; decide which one is the most important at this time. Imagine doing or having exactly that. Does it feel good? Do you still want it? If yes, then go to step two if not then look again and make another decision.
2.    The decision to have what you want and desire is yours and yours alone. So, list out the steps that you would need to take in order to have or achieve said goal. (This is the important part, because this is what is lacking.) This list doesn’t have to be in any order, just listed.
3.    Decide which of these steps will become the first, the second and so forth. This is the beginning of success, and achievement.
4.    Look at all that you have put down so far. What is lacking? What is the major aspect missing from you becoming successful? Now is the time to make a commitment to yourself, and take the first step.

Clarity is the first step in becoming aware of what you truly want and desire. Purpose or reasons will give the answer to the question of why you want that specific experience, or that specific goal. Without clarity and purpose why would you set a resolution or goal? This would mean that you are setting yourself up for failure; failure to adhere to your goal. Let’s take the weight loss example: If you plan on losing weight and the reason you want that weight off is because you are being made fun of at the office, then you will fail. Now, if you take the weight loss, and decide you want to lose the weight because you want to live a healthy lifestyle then chances is you will lose the weight easily. You’ll also set some action steps in accordance.

Before the action steps can be taken, you will need to know how to take those steps. Which step comes first, and which comes second, and so forth. Look at the strategy of how you will achieve your goal. When looking at these strategies you will find obstacles in your way. Those obstacles as well keep us from becoming successful. Our strategies will enable us to develop a plan to overcome those obstacles when they arise. Back to our example of weight loss: The obstacle might be time, so you will need to write yourself an appointment in your calendar for the gym. The other obstacle is eating unhealthy foods. You now will be able to choose your food more wisely because you have set up a plan.

As the famous Nike ® commercial states: “Just Do It.” That’s all it will take for you to become successful and achieve what you want and desire. This means work for you, because if you want something badly enough to go through this process then you will have to work hard for it. My theory is that if you plan, do the work, then you will reach your goal. Your goals will not manifest themselves by magic. That is our wish, not our reality.

Carrie Fleharty is a mild-mannered school librarian, who loves moonlighting as a writer. She has written many articles, and is currently fine-tuning her craft. She has taken many workshops and classes on the art of writing, and has a modicum of success. She continues to work very hard in learning her craft. While not writing or playing with books, she’s home with two Boston “Terrors” and recently added two adopted kitties.

Carrie practices a deeply spiritual life, and attempts to incorporate her spirituality among the experiences of being human. She uses her spiritual teachings to impart her hard learned knowledge to others through her writing. Her articles will reflect her hobbies of bicycling, birding, hiking, nature, sports, her spirituality and her joy of living. She is currently working on a book that exposes the aspects of changing her focus from half-empty cup to a full cup.

Sponsored by: http://www.Indiainfotech.co.in

Book Mar This

Making Your New Year’s Resolutions Stick By Feyi Boroffice

The beginning of the year is always a great time to take a fresh look at your life and set some goals for yourself that will get you closer to your dreams. Unfortunately as we all know too well, most New Year’s Resolutions do not stick. I’ve seen research saying that as many as 90% of people give up on their New Year’s Resolutions before the month of January is over! This has led to setting New Year’s Resolutions being seen as a pointless exercise which most of us have decided to abandon. However, setting New Year’s Resolutions is a great practice because it’s a chance to actually reflect on where you are and how far or how close it is to where you would like to be. In the hustle and bustle of life we have few opportunities during the year to slow down and assess our life so this time of the year is perfect for this important process of reflection.

As the old saying goes - “if you don’t know where you’re going how will you know when you get there?” There is something motivating about setting goals that drives you to get out of your seat and do something about your life. The key to success is to figure out how to sustain that drive. At 2Hats we have done a lot of research on goal setting and what separates success from failure. The 3 keys to sticking with your resolutions are:

1) Keep it Positive: Research has shown that it is much easier to start a new habit than to stop an old one. In fact most resolutions fail precisely because they are based on negative framing i.e. “I will stop eating junk”or “I will stop smoking”. This type of thinking is actually counter-intuitive because you end up focusing on the bad habit you are trying to break and eventually your will breaks down. A better approach is to start with the bad habit you are trying to break and then think of an action that will nullify that habit. For example, changing the previous resolutions to “I will eat more vegetables” or “I will wear a nicotine patch” will result in a higher chance of success.

2) Create a Specific Routine: Human beings are creatures of habit. Think about the things you do without thinking such as brushing your teeth when you wake up - these things require minimum effort because we repeat the same process every day at the same time. Studies show that it takes just a few days of repetitive action for a new habit to begin forming. In fact, simply scheduling the time and place for an action triples the chances of that action actually taking place.

To turn your resolution into a habit, break it down into an activity that can be performed routinely and determine exactly when you will perform the activity, preferably on a daily basis at first until it is hardwired in your system. As an example, if your resolution is to lose weight, you could develop a routine such as “I will exercise at 6am every morning for the next 7 days and thereafter exercise on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays every week”.

3) Develop a Support System: Finally, human beings thrive when they feel supported. It is a statistical fact that sports teams do better in home games than away games due to the fact that there are more fans to cheer them on at home games. There is no dispute as to how helpful support groups such as Alcoholics Anonymous are in helping people shed their destructive habits. A support system is just as important for developing positive habits as in stopping bad ones. The key to a successful support system is that the people believe in your ability to succeed and will cheer you on instead of criticizing you when you face inevitable setbacks. Setting up a support system does not have to be an elaborate process - it can be as simple as setting up a weekly phone call with a friend to update her on your progress.

Sticking to your New Year’s Resolutions is not an easy task, but it is possible. You are now equipped to buck the trend and make those resolutions stick. Good luck!

Feyi Boroffice is President & CEO of 2Hats Network, a career consulting and leadership development company for women. We help women thrive in their personal and professional lives and we advise companies on how to optimize the performance of their female employees. For more information visit http://www.2hatsnetwork.com Feyi is a certified executive and life coach with an MBA from Harvard Business School.

Interested in setting up a Cheer & Share group that will support each other in keeping your New Year’s Resolutions? Visit http://www.2hatsnetwork.com for more information.

Sponsored by: http://www.Indiainfotech.co.in

Book Mar This

How to Make Real Changes in Your Life By Cassandra Washington

The most repeated word during the 2009 U.S. presidential campaign was “change.” Hillary had “The Strength and Experience to Bring Real Change.” McCain vowed “The Change You Deserve Is Coming.” And Obama offered “Change We Can Believe In.”

But here’s a slogan you may not have heard much during the election cycle: “Change Begins With You.” You will not see real change because you hope for it or vote for it. Change only happens when you change.

Here are five key points to remember that will help you make successful changes in your career and life.

You can’t expect overnight success.
We are constantly presented with a barrage of get-rich-quick schemes. However, change happens in small steps. So, if you feel you are not making changes as quickly as you should–go easy on yourself. Change takes place slowly.
You must do something different.
Ninety percent of what we do everyday is habit. To change, we must resist the pull to act in the same old way and discover new ways of doing things. Nothing happens until you do something different.
It is important to let go of excuses.
You will never succeed in life making excuses. Instead, take personal responsibility, plan your way, and start taking action toward where you really want to be. People who insist on using excuses seldom make the type of changes necessary for a rewarding life.
Decision is a moment in time; change is a process of time.
Change has four phases: deny, resist, explore, and commit. Moving through the phases can take weeks or months. Where are you in the change process? If you refuse to recognize the need for change, you may be in denial. Blaming others or complaining about a situation could mean you are resisting. Although resistance is normal, you overcome it by acknowledging and talking about it. You shift to exploration when you begin to see possibilities and look for alternatives. Finally, the commitment phase begins when you focus on new ways of doing things or adapt to new situations.
Change is easier when you have support and encouragement.
Some change is difficult to accomplish on your own. Surrounding yourself with supportive people makes change easier. Many successful people enlist the services of a coach. A coach will help you discover what you want, set realistic goals, overcome the things that get in your way, stay on track and stay motivated every step of the way. Everyone needs help; admitting it does not make you less successful.
Change is constant; you can’t escape it. Feeling overwhelmed and getting sidetracked is normal, but you can develop the skills to manage change successfully.

Cassandra Washington is a career coach who inspires clients to take action toward their goals. She is a veteran trainer, “how-to” author, and successful entrepreneur. Does your career need a coach? Visit http://www.expandmysuccess.blogspot.com for motivation and guidance for making the changes you want to make. You can also sign up for her FREE Career Success eNewsletter. For information about her company, Exceed Resources, visit http://www.exceedlearning.com

(c) Copyright 2008 Cassandra Washington. All rights reserved.

Sponsored by: http://www.Indiainfotech.co.in

Book Mar This

Success at Last - Life Really is the Learning Ground By Steve Wickham

M. Scott Peck said in his 20th Century classic Wisdom from the Road Less Traveled,

“Our view of reality is like a map with which to negotiate the terrain of life… we are not born with maps; we have to make them, and the making requires effort. The more effort we make to appreciate and perceive reality, the larger and more accurate our maps will be. But many do not want to make this effort.”

The whole purpose of life is wrapped up in building a large and true map of reality, and we do this via learning and that is an intentional process that requires a lot of effort.

I have dedicated my life to the processes of facilitation, coaching and advising in areas of my knowledge, skill and experience. The only way I can achieve what I set out to do is to cogently focus on learning.

And when I look at the teaching aspects of my life roles, I find that the saying, ‘The teacher learns twice’ is apt. Constant learning (and a keen openness for it) for those in teaching and training roles is critical.

There are at least three (3) challenges to learning and the development of maps:

1. UNLEARNING

We need to unlearn the things we learned incorrectly in the first place. Perhaps we had bad models or were shown bad processes. Perhaps we simply didn’t listen or learn properly. We’re destined to need to unlearn many things, and, all through life it is a necessary thing because no one learns everything perfectly.

2. RELEARNING

We need to relearn the things we learned once, but then never used again, or have neglected since. These are possibly things we might have considered ourselves to be guru’s in once-upon-a-time, but lack of practice has rendered the knowledge, skill or experience worthless or compromised.

3. ADAPTING TO A CHANGING WORLD OR ENVIRONMENT

Peck mentions also that the world is constantly changing so we have to change our maps (and adapt) as required–this requires character because none of us really wants to relinquish hard-earned knowledge and successful ways of doing things. Change is inevitable.

To be successful in life we must embrace learning, even in situations where we’d rather not expend the effort. Effort equals results.

Copyright © 2009, S. J. Wickham. All Rights Reserved Worldwide.

Steve Wickham is a safety and health professional (BSc) and a qualified lay Christian minister (GradDipDiv). His key passion is work / life balance and re-creating value for living, and an exploration of the person within us.

Sponsored by: http://www.Indiainfotech.co.in

Book Mar This