How would you like to increase your self-confidence by 100%? I’ll tell you how, but first let me tell you how NOT to go about it. Do NOT try to increase your self confidence by doing any of the following:

• losing weight
• getting a big promotion
• buying a new car
• getting an eye-lift
• dating a younger man

Don’t misunderstand - there’s nothing wrong with any of those things, but I’m here with an iron-clad guarantee that while they may make you feel good for awhile, not only will they not CREATE confidence long term, but without the inherent confidence to back them, you may even lose them. You see, self-confidence is directly equal to (and nearly synonymous with) self-worth, and self-worth doesn’t come FROM things and events; things and events come FROM self-worth, which can only be cultivated from the INSIDE. Huh? It’s simple really. You just need to learn to be kind to yourself. Become your own best friend, your confidence will soar, and you’ll find all the things and events you desire are already waiting for you!

1. Stop the negative self-talk. Most of us have a horrible, ugly internal monologue on a continuous loop. We immediately criticize our every error, downplay all our hopes and dreams, and dredge up our fears at the slightest provocation. You must stop. Did you know that 90% of the thoughts you have in a day are repetitive? No wonder it’s so difficult to accomplish new tasks… you’re busy reliving the past! Every time you have a negative thought about yourself (I’m too fat, I could never do that, wish I was as pretty as her), I want to you visualize that thought written out on a blackboard. See yourself picking up an eraser and wiping that thought away. Keep wiping until it’s totally gone. Now write over it with a positive statement: I live a healthy lifestyle, I can accomplish anything I set my mind to, I am beautiful just as I am.
2. Make a list of your strengths. Think of everything you’re good at, and write them down. You will be blown away by the length of the list. Keep this where you can see it, and refer to it every time you feel you are not good enough, talented enough, or capable enough. Do you make a killer spaghetti? Can you knit? Do you crush the competition in charades? Can you type? Do you volunteer? Are you a good listener? These are all valid strengths, and the combination is what makes you fabulously unique!
3. Keep track of your accomplishments. Absolutely everyone should do this, and try to do it daily. At the end of the day, write down everything you accomplished. (Ate a healthy breakfast, got to work on time, finished four reports, helped my co-worker with an issue, called my mom, got the dishes done.) You will VERY quickly begin to see that your life is not an endless string of lost time, but of missions accomplished. You should also do this at the end of a year. It’s a great means of reflection. I recently read of an individual who keeps a 3×5 card with him and writes down his accomplishments throughout the day, so he doesn’t forget! Why not?
4. Recognize that you deserve good care, and give it to yourself. When you are tempted to eat more than you know you should, skip your workout (again), forgo the makeup, or not buy yourself that dress you’ve been eying for months, remember that you are a creature of great value, and that you can contribute more to the world when you feel good. You feel better when you are well cared for, and the only one who can do that is you. You are WORTH eating well, exercising, getting a good night’s sleep, and buying the occasional treat for.
5. Be authentic - don’t try to be someone that you’re not. If you are wasting your time staring at models, movie stars, or coworkers longing to look more or be more like them, you are doing yourself and your creative source a GRAVE disservice. You were created just as you are for a reason, to bring YOUR value into the world. How can you possibly do that if you are idolizing someone else? This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have role-models, but a role-model is a guide, not a replacement. Each of us possesses incredible magic, but since you can never successfully wield the magic of another, longing to be someone else will lead you only to disappointment and further negativity.
6. Pursue your passion. This is a sure path to great satisfaction. When you are following your dreams and partaking of activities that enliven and empower you, there is no room for negativity! You are so filled with the joy of DOING, doubt is not an option. As you spend more time in pursuits that satisfy your core desires, you will find that negativity fades automatically.